Let's Talk

So most people see it as a weakness to go and tell someone about your problems, and I do believe that. However, I do believe that there are some instances in which you must tell people that you are having and issue with something. Today, I grew up a little.
So lately, well, all semester, Ethics has been kicking my ass. I mean, I'm averaging a 70, but in my opinion, it's been luck. Today was the midterm. I woke up panicked before I was supposed to wake up. I took my shower, the entire time trying to figure stuff out. When I was done drying my hair, I called my mom telling her I wasn't sure of what to do. It turned into a bit of a fight. I wish she would understand that 15 hours is too many, that I just can't do it. Even when I wasn't working, it was too much. Well, I decided that I would go talk to the professor about it. Yes, I know it's the day of the midterm and I've never talked to her about problems with the class before, and that this probably looked really desperate, but I had to at least figure where I stand.
She pulled up my grades and showed that I had an average of 70 so she couldn't figure out why I was worried. Well lets see, because I need to do better so that way I don't end up back home, because it is only a 70 and one wrong move could move that into the 60s and where would I be then, because you never really explained how to write a philosophical essay and originally told us it would only be one essay and now it's two essays. There are countless because statements. But she finished the statement for me by saying that if I was really worried about the exam, then she would postpone it. She said that she could tell it really was worrying me and that I was scared and that it would be ethically wrong for her to do this; that if I really was worried, then there was a good reason on why I was worried. She gave me until next Monday and I can come in anytime in between. I wanted to hug her, it was amazing.
I mean, it's going to put a little more pressure on me because I also have to study for two tests next week, but one review I won't get until Friday and if I start studying Wednesday, then I'll be good. And the second text I have next Wednesday, so I'll probably start studying for that tomorrow or Wednesday. Those two will be easier because the questions correlate with the books.
As for my parents, I go home this weekend and this will be discussed. But I already have planned on what I will tell them. If they tell me that I have to move back home next year, they are sorely mistaken. I will find a way to support myself. It would be worse for me to go home. I have no friends there, there's no way I could live with my parents, and it would have a higher chance of aspiring me to drop school completely. If they want me to quit my job, then they will have to find a way to be able to fully monetarily support me the way I am now. Also, I am more structured when I am working because when I'm not working, I always have the mentality that I can do it later. When I'm working and I know that I also have to this, that and the other, I live a more structured life. I plan on telling my parents that next semester I am not accepting the Carr scholarship. Next semester I'll be taking harder classes. 14 hours will be hard enough. If I have to have a minimum of 15 hours and there's a lab in there, that either means I'm taking 14 hours or 17. I will never push myself more than 15 until I feel stable enough. I know that I won't be able to even compromise when it comes to an apartment, although I believe living off campus would help because then I don't have to lobby to go sit in and interact with people. But if my parents want me in the dorms another year, I'll do it. I'll do anything not to go home, including financially supporting myself completely if I have to. I hope it doesn't get to that point though. But as for the scholarship, I'll just take out the loan myself. I would rather have to pay the money back than risk my sanity and future jobs and my GPA because I have to do something.
So really people, suck it up and talk to someone if you need to, if you see any signs that you are struggling. It's always best to be honest and you never know what you'll get.