Growing Up is Hard to Do

So tomorrow is my oldest nieces 13th birthday and I'm finding myself oddly sentimental. I guess between that and me being 20 in a few weeks, I'm finding myself looking back at everything and finding myself pretty okay with my life.

I remember the night my niece was born. I was only 7 and I wasn't allowed to stay at the hospital too late because I had school the next day and you never know how long a person will be in labor. But, the next morning when I woke up, I had a baby niece. She was the first baby I ever help and I remember being really scared to hold her because I didn't want to drop her. Then I remember the years when I could tell my mom that I thought it was time she took a "N-A-P" because she was getting fussy, and then the day when she came back with "I know that spells nap." I remember the first day of school, the dance recitals, the soccer games. And somewhere in there, she grew up. And somewhere in there, I grew up too.

I see a lot of what my niece is going through as things that I went through, although because it seems that generations go through things sooner than the generation before them. The things she's going through I swear I didn't go through until I was a sophomore in high school. It scares me. Not for her so much. I mean, I worry about decisions she makes and will make; but I worry about decisions her friends will make her and how it will effect her. I also worry how it will be when I have children. I know with the right supervision and rules and whatnot, and if I raise my children the way my parents raised me, I know that my children will be more like how I think they should be. But I also don't know how things will be then. I mean, right now it's Facebook and texting and all about instant gratification (all things I didn't have until high school). And who knows, maybe in 10 years when I plan on having kids, it will be completely different in a good way. Maybe things will be more like it was before, in that teachers can be firmer and not have to worry about the parents freaking out, and the youth will respect their elders and worries won't be so much about a child's self esteem because I know a lot of people who were raised this way and they turned out just fine.

Or, maybe it will be worse and right now I really have no clue what worse could be because I really am quite worried for this generation. What with 13 years having sex and getting pregnant, getting addicted to drugs, calling people whore's and sluts. I really am amazed at how things have changed since I was there. I can only hope with all my might that it doesn't get worse.

But, I would like to finish this with wishing my niece the most wonderful and amazing birthday and that I hope that she always follows her heart and doesn't fall for something she shouldn't. I love you baby girl.